Fear Series | I Forgot The Words

I remember being in the kitchen with my mom while she was singing Amazing Grace so naturally I started to sing along. I’m not sure who it was, either my mom or grandma, that decided I had some kind of singing talent (which I really don’t) so I was put in choir at school as well as private singing lessons. With all the support and investment in this new talent that I had I started to believe that I was the next Whitney Houston (who was someone I looked up to when I was younger). In reality I was nowhere near to being any kind of famous. But regardless I still entered my schools talent show and when it was time to perform I was nervous but other than that had no problems. I sang my one verse of Amazing Grace and was done with it. Then when I got back to my Fourth Grade Class after the show my teacher told me she cried when she heard me sing. I thought to myself I must really have something going here I should perform again. If I only knew…

So now feeling like I could conquer the world with my amazing voice I couldn’t wait for my next opportunity to sing on a stage again. It was just my luck that a local radio station was holding a talent competition and I had my mom enter me singing the same one verse of Amazing Grace. If it made my teacher cry before I could make other people cry too with the same song. The day finally came for the talent show and I was so excited to be wearing my dress with puff sleeves which made me feel like Anne of Green Gables (I wanted to be just like her). I’m standing backstage with my mom and every five seconds had to pee, I call it the nervous pee (where you feel like you have to pee but you don’t).

The waiting was over, my time had come, I walk out on to the stage, stand in front of the microphone and with a shaky voice begin to sing but the only words that came out were “Amazing Grace”. Standing there frozen and unable to move I simply said “Oops, I forgot the words.” Still standing there helpless the audience begins to shout out the lyrics to me so I started over. I can promise you that would have been the fastest version of Amazing Grace you have ever heard in your life. Once I finished my song I quickly got off stage and buried my head into my mom’s stomach and cried buckets. I was horrified and so embarrassed that I just wanted to go away from that place forever but we had to wait till the end for final scores.

Sitting outside of the talent show with my mom waiting for this horrid day to end I couldn’t tell you how many people came up to me and told me how brave I was for not running off the stage. They also kept telling me how it took great courage to stand up there and try again. Although I appreciated their comments I simply was frozen and running off the stage never even occurred to me. That day stage fright took over, a form of fear set in and is still there to this day. That was the last day I sang a solo and I don’t see myself doing one in the future. Perhaps one day I will get on a stage again and quickly sing “This Little Light of Mine” or something short just so I can say that I have overcome my fear of stage fright. (Matthew 19:26)

Meet Heather!

Hi! I am Heather! this is meI have lived in Arizona, Oklahoma, and finally in North Carolina (where I was actually born). So needless to say I am able to pull off a western, mid-west, or southern accent depending on the situation. I was blessed to marry my high school sweetheart (aka the first boy I didn’t think had cooties) and we have now been married for 11 years. Together we have two girls and we will be welcoming a baby boy in January but we think it will be in December. Like most women I wear many hats: wife, mother, homeschool teacher, foodie, blogger, friend, and the list goes on. My life is crazy but God is showing me the beauty in the chaos.

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