“In honour of Valentine’s day this upcoming Saturday, Defying Shadows is doing a week on the different valentine shadows that can make this time of year a bit difficult. Today Dakota will be sharing his thoughts on what being alone means and what it should say about you and me. Enjoy! ~Nichole”
We all feel alone sometimes. There are just times in life when we feel isolated. Loneliness is one of the hardest feelings to cope with in life. Not only does it leave an unfulfilled desire and need in us, but it can leave us doubting ourselves. We start to wonder if there is something wrong with us that has caused us this loneliness.
Loneliness cannot define you. Neither can feelings of loneliness. You are not Mr./Mrs. (enter name here) Lonely. You are not defined by loneliness and you shouldn’t let anybody tell you otherwise! What does being alone say about you though?
1) It says you are a God created human! God has created us with a need (yes, need not desire) for companionship. Like any other need, if you are denied companionship for too long, you can feel it. It hurts. But it is normal. Feeling lonely doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It means you have a need that isn’t being met.
God designed us to need three types of companionship. First and foremost, we need companionship with God Himself! He created us to be in fellowship with Him (Genesis 1-2), He created us to be in fellowship with our family (Genesis 2:22-24), and He created us to be in fellowship with friends (Proverbs 18:24). We need all three of these types of relationships to be fulfilled. That is how we are made! If we feel lonely because one of these relationships is lacking, it doesn’t mean we are too needy or clingy, it means we have a God-given need that is not being met!
2) It says we are walking different than the world. Jesus tells us in John 15:18-21 that the world will hate us just as it hated Him. He said that if we are of the world then the world will love us as its own. Sometimes, we are lonely because we are following God so closely that other people don’t like us. As hard as this is, we know that it is part of the Christian walk.
3) It says we have standards. There are times in life when we reject companionship because the people we have available to fellowship with don’t meet our standards. Maybe we aren’t married because we haven’t met a potential spouse that has the same goals as us, or we refuse to hang out with our co-workers because of their morals. It doesn’t make loneliness easier but having standards is very important! We need to hold our standards strong and not compromise them for any worldly relationship! If we do, we will end up even lonelier.
In life we will face loneliness sometimes. There may even be times we face loneliness because we made a mistake. The truth is, though, we are never without God. He never turns His back on us no matter what mistakes we make. While we may still feel lonely when we do not have friends or family around, we have to trust that God is working all things for our good (Romans 8:28). If we trust Him He will fulfill every other need.
We need to remember, though, that loneliness doesn’t define us, and it doesn’t mean we are broken. It means we have an unfulfilled need. It means we are human. I would encourage anybody feeling lonely to look to God and call upon Him first! Our companionship with Him is more important than any other relationship and will leave the biggest void if neglected. Second, I would encourage that person to find a good church to get involved in! Find your family and friends in God’s house! Be involved and engaged! It will get better! Remember that as lonely as you may feel, you are not broken, and you are not forsaken by God!
My name is Dakota Dalsing. I own The Christian Guy’s Life where I am Chief Writer and Editor. I have a passion to see the world changed for God’s glory! I write about Christian life, love, and Manhood at my website. I can also be contacted on Facebook or on Twitter.