Today we welcome a new team member, Alex, to Defying Shadows! Be sure to welcome her in the comments below! Here is her words of wisdom on Letting It Go. ~ Nichole
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” – Oprah Winfrey
Although it is easier said than done, letting go of pain and hurt is one of the best ways to help you move forward from any situation. Letting go of your past, your mistakes and hurt isn’t something that happens overnight, and takes time, but is worth every minute.
There are many mechanisms/tools/techniques that can assist you in moving forward from your past, your mistakes and hurt. Here are the ones we will be focusing on today:
- Make the decision to let it go.
Although this technique seems to be self-explanatory, it’s one that can be easily overlooked. I’m sure you’ve heard of the famous phrase ‘in order for there to be a problem, you have to acknowledge it.’ That same principle applies to this technique. In order to be able to move forward from a hurtful event from your past or from any mistakes you’ve made, you have to acknowledge them. From there, you have to choose to let go or to dwell on them.
- Express your pain — and your responsibility.
This technique is a bit broader than the first. This technique entails the concept of sharing the hurt, the feelings and emotions that were felt during the situation(s) and express them – this can be done via journaling, verbally expressing them to the other(s) involved, or writing a letter.
The responsibility portion of this technique is a means of reflecting on the situation. Some sample questions to ask include: Am I an active participate in my life? Or am I a hopeless victim? What could I have done differently? Am I going to let my pain become my identity?
- Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.
At this point, you’re ready to let go and move forward from all the pain and hurt you’ve felt. At this point, you stop reliving each moment from the situation and playing the victim as the other(s) plays the villain. We do not have the ability to change the past, unfortunately. But we do have the ability to move forward from here on out – moving on is a choice that you make (just like feeling the hurt is.)
These are not the only techniques out there that can be used to help you let go of your past, your mistakes and hurt. These techniques are versatile in that they can be applied to many different scenarios (aside from letting go.) I have used these techniques to help get over events from my past and I can say that they’ve most certainly helped me. Feel free to leave comments on some other techniques that help you. Or if you’ve used these, have they worked for you?
Alex Newton is a nursing student and mental health advocate. She grew up in a small town and plans on moving to London, England one day and open up her own health practice. She has a cat named Maya who she adopted whilst going through some difficulties. She’s a daughter, sister, and warrior who enjoys a nice cuppa tea.