“Emptiness will be filled,
As life begins to rebuild.
Broken heart made to mend,
All because of that special friend.”
And more often than not, that special friend is you. Break ups hurt! Breaking up with a family member, a friend, fiancé, or a spouse… All of it hurts. There are few tips that could help you make sense out of your feelings and heal better and faster. Just remember that you don’t have to get back to the same old you. You just need to be whole and healthy again.
You can only heal a wound if you leave it alone. Stay away from the individual who hurt you. Go without contact for some time. Trust me, it won’t be easy but that’s the way you heal. Distract yourself every time you wish to talk to that person.
Make sure that you surround yourself with people who make you feel like yourself when it feels like you have lost yourself. Help your friends to help you by telling them what you are going through. Reach out to people proactively. Don’t confine yourself to the four walls of your home. Your friends love you and do not look at you as a burden. Your friends actually care.
- With great times, remember worst times too
When we feel lonely, we don’t see things clearly. We seem to miss all the great things that we had together and forget about times when we felt left alone and miserable. Remember why this relationship ended. Remember why it came to this. It is okay to feel sad though.
- Not now. Tomorrow, maybe!
You are bound to see things that remind you of people you are not so close to now. You would want to share it with them. Don’t do it. Write it down, tell someone else about it but do not text/ email or message the concerned person. Their reaction or non-reaction is going to hurt you more.
- Know that it is only over when you can think about them, and it makes you smile. You should be able to hear their name, voice and not quiver and get all anxious. The day you can tell this story without suffering, you know that you have healed.
If you have any tips to deal with any such social pain, please comment on the post.
Mekhala Vadadkar is a typical INFJ. She comes from an industrial psychology background. She also enjoys working with the children. She is currently teaching grade 3 as a part of Teach For India fellowship. She is passionate about mental health and education. She enjoys writing a personal blog to keep her sane.
You can follow Mekhala at her blog here.