I wanted to reshare with you all a piece that I wrote back in 2012 and published last year. It was a defining moment in my life, one that helped change my whole path and potentially my future. I hope this leaves you encouraged.
“God, I don’t understand… I can’t make sense of all this. Why is this happening to me? Why now?” The hurt and angry tears streamed down my face as I leaned against the porch railing, my legs tucked against myself, curled in a fetal position. It’s spring time, I can feel it. The air smells fresh and the sun shines down on the earth with rays of hope.
A crazy idea.
I stand up and slowly lower my bare feet on to the damp earth and breathe a sigh of relief. I take a step, and another. Walk to the muddy patch and stare into the murky waters.
“God, it hurts so bad….” A tear lands in the puddle and then another. For once it is not raining a pathetic fallacy overhead. I walk to the trees, staring up into them and I see the buds. They are so beautiful, but my heart is so wounded.
A bee buzzes from one bud to the next, stealing the pollen from each to bring back to his hive. I look at the buds once red and full, and they look empty and white. I want to make the bee stop. He’s ruining the buds! But then I remember, the bee must do this for the tree to become full and beautiful.
“This is what I am doing…”
I hear HIS voice and I suddenly understand. He’s taking me, breaking me so that I might become more. He’s taking away my buds so that I might bloom. I trust HIM and smile as I walk back to that shady space on the porch.
Nichole is a Social Media Marketing Manager, student, daughter and friend. She’s working on her Marketing Diploma and has a Certificate of Christian Theology. She is an avid coffee lover who enjoys a good movie or book. She takes great joy in organizing, scheduling, and volunteering. Her passion for volunteerism extends specifically to those who are hurting, whether it is emotionally, physically, or mentally.
Nichole is certified to provide Mental Health First Aid, which means she can provide immediate support and guidance in a safe environment, comfortably have a conversation about mental health related issues and offer professional and other supports. This does NOT make Nichole a psychologist, or a counselor. It simply gives her the tools to direct people to the help they need.