One night in desperation to explain my thoughts and feelings I made a list of what it would be like to live in my mind. I wanted to share these thoughts with you. So here they are, illustrated with the help of the internet!
My illness doesn’t disappear because you cannot see it.
Source: http://goo.gl/U0x8rW
Every morning I have to make a conscious decision that I want today to happen.
Source: http://goo.gl/Q8Ehgb
I regret the decision to get out of bed multiple times every day.
Source: http://goo.gl/jyEbpN
Every night I have to convince myself that tomorrow will be better and worth seeing, because if nothing else, it’s a new day.
Source: http://goo.gl/Ss45G8
Every single choice I make is followed by an overwhelming wave of anxiety and uncertainty.
Source: http://goo.gl/L2f9MW
Sometimes when people talk to me, I have to restrain myself from lashing out or shushing them.
Source: http://goo.gl/KO5K5F
Every time I open my mouth, I regret the words that come out, and spend days analyzing what I said.
Source: http://goo.gl/hleW51
I am constantly reminded that I am not “normal,” and struggle with a sense of belonging.
Source: http://goo.gl/xr2T8J
No matter how positive I am, my mind continues to hate me, and screams “give up” like a broken record.
Source: https://goo.gl/mAJDs7
Every day I endure the fight through depression and have actually accepted it as my normal.
Source: http://goo.gl/T8NXAq (REALLY AWESOME BLOG POST! CHECK IT OUT!)
That smile on my face took hours of pep talks and mental preparation.
Source: http://goo.gl/Z8Ihss
You need to understand… When I cry it is not because I am sad. I am almost always sad. When I cry it’s because I’ve hit a point of defeat.
Source: http://goo.gl/kYY0Pb
Sometimes I wonder if it is all a bad dream that I can wake up from. But it’s not.
Source: http://goo.gl/QBdDbn
Sometimes I lose sight of the fact that my struggles will make me stronger.
Source: http://goo.gl/lzbiIe
Know that the struggle of mental illness is real. And it is something we need to talk about. Let’s start now.
Source: http://goo.gl/kwmkbt
Can you relate? I would love to hear from you in the comments!
Love,
Nichole
Nichole is a Social Media Marketing Manager, student, daughter and friend. She’s working on her Marketing Diploma and has a Certificate of Christian Theology. She is an avid coffee lover who enjoys a good movie or book. She takes great joy in organizing, scheduling, and volunteering. Her passion for volunteerism extends specifically to those who are hurting, whether it is emotionally, physically, or mentally.
Nichole is certified to provide Mental Health First Aid, which means she can provide immediate support and guidance in a safe environment, comfortably have a conversation about mental health related issues and offer professional and other supports. This does NOT make Nichole a psychologist, or a counselor. It simply gives her the tools to direct people to the help they need.
You can follow Nichole on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, Pinterest, and Linkedin.
Defying Shadows 