In Relapse Prevention group one day in IOP, we had to write a letter to ourselves in a low place, from ourselves in a better place. We were asked to fake it if we didn’t feel hopeful about recovery that day. I faked it. But I have reread this letter many times and it still holds true.
It may not feel like it today, but recovery is the best thing you’ve ever given yourself. All the tears and pain are and will be worth it. How do I know this? Because today, I feel the benefits of recovery. It’s a lot of work – hard work – but the payoff is living without fear and anxiety all the time. It is liking yourself, maybe even loving yourself.
I am so proud of you for putting the work in to create a better you. No, not a better you – the real you. You are brave for standing up to Ed and not backing down when life feels tough.
If you are feeling low, remember your self-care practices. Call Lillie. Color, walk, write, or journal. Don’t wallow. You are better than that.
I believe in you.
And I love you.
Debbie is an addiction counselor and yoga teacher in Indiana. She is an avid reader of any genre, and has published fantasy short stories; she is still working on the elusive novel. Recently, Debbie has ventured into non-fiction writing, in hopes that discussing her life with an eating disorder will help someone in need. Debbie’s loves include her niece Lillie and her girl-cat, Emilio Estevez. She is passionate about mental health awareness, especially related to addiction and eating disorders.