Dear Future Partner…

Dear Future Partner,

If you’re reading this, I am hoping you already know about my Bipolar Disorder. Although this disorder does not define who I am, it is a very big part of my life and will be something that I have to manage for years to come. Here’s what I would want you to know about being with someone with Bipolar Disorder …

  1. If you don’t understand something, or your curious about how my disorder will affect me, you or our relationship, please ask. Talking about it doesn’t make it happen again. Talking about depression won’t make me depressed. Talking about self-harm won’t make me cut myself. Talking about suicidal thoughts won’t make me feel suicidal. Don’t think avoiding the topic is for our own good.
  2. I’ve been living with my depression, my anxiety and my Bipolar Disorder for a long time now… I know it’s hard to hear about these things and want to magically fix them, but I need you to know that trying to fix it often times does more harm than good. Just try to be supportive and patient.
  3. Sometimes I cannot put my feelings and emotions into words. Sometimes I won’t know what is wrong, but I will know something is. I understand how confusing that will be for you. Please try to understand that it is just as confusing for me.
  4. When I look for a partner, I look for someone who isn’t afraid to speak their own mind. I need someone who will call me out on my behaviour if it’s not in check. I need someone who isn’t afraid to make sure that I am following my recovery plan. I need a partner who will hold me accountable.
  5. Know that my disorder does not make me weak. I am an independent individual who can do things on my own. Some days it’s harder than others, but know that no matter how many times I fall, I will always climb back up. I am determined to live a full and successful life. I won’t give up, so please don’t give up on me.

Lastly, but most importantly…. All these things that you can do to help me are also things I will do to help support you. Relationships are a two way street, and I am just as willing to be patient, supportive and committed as you are.

I look forward to meeting you one day…

Love,

Nichole

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