Dear Son and Daughter,
I know I’ve shared these thoughts and words with you many times, but I want them in writing. Concrete. So you can see them and read them again and again, when you need to remember most.
You’re going to fall in love one day.
Before you do, there are some things you need to know. I need you to know them.
You’re both incredible human beings. You are precious and amazing and worthy of wonderful things. You are children of a King! You should be treated as such.
That sounds exactly like something a mom would say, right? But it happens to be 100% true and it’s not just my opinion or “because you’re my Mom and you have to say that.” It’s because God says it. And I believe it. And I want you both to believe it too.
You see, not everyone knows their own worth so not everyone thinks enough of themselves to treat others right. Some people aren’t nice and don’t play by the rules. Don’t be those people and don’t allow them to mistreat you.
Before you begin to date, make sure you are firm in who you are and your faith in Jesus. Make sure that you are strong in self so you will recognize somebody who’s not treating you like the gold that you are and that you will strongly walk away quickly from it.
You want to seek a mate who shares your faith and love for the Lord. If they’re putting God first then they will be playing by His rules and when you do the same, your relationship will be rich and respectful.
God intends a romantic relationship to be pure and one in which each cherishes the other. Anything short of that and you’re not grabbing the gifts God has prepared for you within a relationship and marriage.
Even if you like someone and are interested in them, if they mistreat you, you need to be strong enough to let that person go. If they’re not respectful of you, then they’re simply not the one for you. Someone who tries to pressure you to do things you aren’t comfortable doing, isn’t for you. A person who ridicules you or tries to monopolize all your time; who makes light of your dreams and doesn’t support you; who nitpicks at you even in the slightest ways; who’s willing to put you down in private or in front of others; who tries to change your mind when you’ve made a decision clear: this person isn’t respecting who you are and they don’t have your best interests at heart. This person or someone like them, is not for you.
And don’t be in any hurry. Don’t rush to date just for the sake of dating or “fitting in.” Think of this: God already knows who your spouse is. Isn’t that the most awesome thought? He already knows! If you put your faith in that and Him, you can’t go wrong. Let Him guide you to the right person or guide the right person to you. If you rely completely on His lead, He won’t steer you wrong. But He will steer you right to the perfect mate. And when you meet that person, you will learn what true love…respectful, beautiful, pure love is all about. And you will be thankful that you waited because they and you are worth waiting for.
I’ve prayed for them, these future mates of yours. I’ve prayed that you will remember how truly precious you are so you won’t feel like you have to date somebody just to be dating. I’ve prayed you won’t know loneliness, that you will know that not dating doesn’t mean “alone,” it just means you’re waiting for the the right one. I’ve prayed that you will make wise choices and be strong and not allow anyone to mistreat you. I want you to be able to walk away from a relationship that isn’t good for you, even if it means it hurts your heart a little to do it.
And a little tidbit that’s not so popular but is so very true: Waiting for marriage for sex is possible. It is also worth it. You will never get married and say “Gosh, I wish we’d had sex before we got married.” But if you don’t wait and share that gift only with your spouse, you will be able to say “I wish I’d waited so only you and me would ever share something so special.” People who may poke fun at you for waiting just don’t get it. And they don’t have to. You don’t need their approval. You have to live with you, not with them.
Be smart, be faithful, be wise. Always, always look to God. It’s very freeing to know if you follow Him, that He will bring the perfect mate for you. You don’t have to worry about what, when, where, or even who! God already has the details worked out.
Remember my words and that I very dearly love you both. You are my heart and soul.
Love always,
Mom
Meet Melanie P. :
Melanie Pickett is a mom, wife, writer, blogger, and Jesus girl. Melanie spends most of her time at her own blog, melaniespickett.com where she writes about her domestic abuse survival, healthy relationships, life, and faith. She is busy with her work in progress, her first nonfiction book. Melanie contributes to Sonoma Christian Home and has been featured on BlogHer.com and published on Splickety Magazine, Whole Magazine, Breathe Writers Conference blog, and various other blogs as a guest writer. She is a volunteer at Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies. Having worked in the medical field for nearly two decades, Melanie recently “retired” so she could concentrate on her family and writing career. She is also a substitute teacher. Besides writing, Melanie loves to read, travel, enjoys hockey, playing piano, listening to music, helping and encouraging others, speaking on Periscope, volunteering, movies, and hanging out and cheering on her very favorite people: her family. Melanie lives in west Michigan with her husband, two teen children, and her pug Gracie and beabrador Lillie. Her favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11 and one of her favorite quotes is: “They call us the dreamers, but we’re the ones who never sleep.”
Defying Shadows 