Dating Yourself

I have a confession to make… I love being alone. Not in a completely isolated loner type of way… But I enjoy spending time just with myself. I didn’t really understand how much until a few months ago, when I was stuck in the city for a couple hours waiting for my brother to be ready to be picked up.


I found that I actually looked forward to these times. At first I thought I should feel weird about it and was constantly telling myself that “this is why you need to find a boyfriend” but then I came to a surprising realization. I like dating myself.

  • I like getting a coffee and browsing stores with no intention on buying anything.
  • I like going to a coffee shop and catching up on my reading.
  • I enjoy going to see movies by myself.
  • I like running errands on my own and just letting my mind wander.

Sure, I love having the company too, but I have found that on the busiest weeks or the most stressful days, spending time on my own doing something that I would typically do with a friend are actually therapeutic.

I wasn’t always like this of course… In fact, I was the exact opposite. I always needed someone around. I hated being on my own. I was clingy and needy. But everyone changes as they grow.

Instead of constantly telling myself I needed to be in a relationship, I changed my way of thinking by telling myself, “If you can’t spend time with yourself, how do you expect other people to spend time with you?”

Try doing something for yourself. Take yourself on a date. When life gets busy, it’s good to remind yourself that you’re worth taking the time to reward yourself.

It doesn’t have to be something big… Go for a massage. Get your nails done. Treat yourself to a coffee – the good kind, not the I have a spare toonie kind. Work yourself upward to something braver. Like going to see a movie on your own. Learn to love yourself before you expect someone else to love you too. It changes the way you look at relationships and hopefully the way your future relationships become.

The past two years of my life have crafted me into a successful woman and business owner… but it didn’t happen overnight. It happened because I spent my time outside of a relationship working on myself instead of wishing for something I didn’t have.

And I love who I’ve become.

12987234_488101244732219_5840221814499897607_nNichole is a Social Media Marketing Manager, business owner, daughter and friend. She’s working on her Marketing Diploma and has a Certificate of Christian Theology. She is an avid coffee lover who enjoys a good movie or book. She takes great joy in organizing, scheduling, and volunteering. Her passion for volunteerism extends specifically to those who are hurting, whether it is emotionally, physically, or mentally.

Nichole is certified to provide Mental Health First Aid, which means she can provide immediate support and guidance in a safe environment, comfortably have a conversation about mental health related issues and offer professional and other supports. This does NOT make Nichole a psychologist, or a counselor. It simply gives her the tools to direct people to the help they need.

You can follow Nichole on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, Pinterest, Linkedin and her Personal Blog.

4 thoughts on “Dating Yourself

  1. I feel selfish. haha! If dating myself only means taking time to read when alone, then I have been doing it for years. But now that you mention it, it’s routine. So maybe I need to get out of my rut and really like myself. Why not? Jesus loves me; and makes me more tolerable (lovable) to be around! Thanks Nichole

    1. I am so glad you were encouraged by this post. There’s no need to feel selfish for making yourself a priority! I think once you start, you’ll realize how beneficial it really is. 🙂

  2. This was a very good read and was very encouraging. You forget how important it is to love yourself and get to know yourself. It definitely then helps, when you’re in a relationship, when you love yourself.

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