There have been many times in my life I have turned away from God.  Many times I have doubted Him.  Many times I have believed the lies rather than sought out His truth. Many times I have let those lies overwhelm me and lived out of fear instead of trust.

Many times though God has welcomed me back, His prodigal daughter, and I have known that there was rejoicing in Heaven at my return.  Many times he has sought me out in those dark days to show me He was there all along.  Many times He has sent people alongside me.  People that love Him and who have spoken truth in to my life. They have provided me the love and comfort in human form which I was not able to feel or experience in the divine.  Many times He has forgiven me for allowing my distress to cloud my view of Him.  Many times He has brightened that reunion with deep experiences of His love and His Spirit.

Last year I relapsed in to depression again.  Usually those are the times I lose my faith.  This time around I figured that there was really no point.  I remembered how time and time again as I recovered my faith returned.  Why play that game again? And so I decided this time would be different. This time I would choose to keep my faith.  In that choice I would be lying if I said I felt His presence.  I would be lying if I said I felt His comfort.  I would be lying if I said my days were not full of fear.  But I made a choice.  The first time ever I had been able to do so. To choose the Lord in my distress.  In the depths to believe he was still there like the blue sky that is always present despite the storm clouds.

I hope that if there are future episodes to come I will make that choice again.  I will count it as my obedience to Him.  Perhaps you cannot feel His love today. Perhaps you cannot hear His voice, feel His comfort or know His presence.  But can you choose?  Can you choose to believe that you will again?  Can you choose to believe that He hasn’t left you? Why wait until later times when believing is easier? Why not make that choice now? If you do I cannot promise you will be comforted, I cannot promise that your day will be easy.  I can promise you will feel fearless. But you will have chosen truth and obedience to the One who loves you and there really is nothing better than that!

Jo Cleary is a Learning and Development Officer and part-time Writer and blogger who lives in Coventry (in the West Midlands of England, UK). I got married in the summer 2015 and was transported to my wedding in a pink VW camper van called “Katie”! You visit her blog at her website.