#FEARLESS365 is a yearlong study of God’s commandment to us to live without fear. For 365 days, we will focus on one scripture and volunteers from all over the world will share their personal thoughts and what God has shared with them on the specific verse. For more info… go here.

Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have relieved me inmy distress;
Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.

 Psalm 4:1 NKJV

Will He answer? Does He care? Is He there? These are the concerns flooding me when I reach out to Him. “Am I now tasked to really trust Him?” I wonder. It’s a frightful place to be standing with arms out (or words out, in the case of prayer), asking Him to hear me. This moves need out of my hands; it shuts down my control. My need leaves my jurisdiction and this is uncomfortable.

When I ask God to hear me, I’m not looking for Him to audibly hear my words. I’m asking Him to make them matter. I’m begging Him to care about my cause and to take action on my need.

Now, it’s an odd matchup, but faith needs doubt. The doubt need not be massive. Any doubt will do.

Faith needs doubt, because doubt sets the stage for faith. “Hear me when I call” brings along with it a possibility that He will not. That He is not near, He does not care or He will not respond. Bearing in mind who God is to me and who I am to Him prompts faith to grab the hands of doubt in an “I’m here, too” manner.

Who am I to Him? “The God of my righteousness” has declared me innocent, leaving nothing between us to keep him from being near, caring or responding. Who is He to me? “The God of my righteousness” is the source of my innocence. Keeping perspective on who I am to Him and how I got there is the only way to look toward Him in faith.

I see beauty in David’s expanded request, packed with reflection and humility. No longer just “hear me when I call,” but now a recanted summary of the deliverance formerly brought and a posture of awareness and brokenness.

No matter my current distress, I will always carry with me the many ways I’ve been freed, delivered and relieved by Him. Even if the deepest of pits, those stories can’t be erased. He has been there for me before.

And, while I’ve been declared innocent, I still require mercy. My relationship with Him is covered in the stuff. It’s the playing field on which we meet. Acknowledging this keeps me in my place and He in His. I don’t demand He listen like some authority He answers to. I recognize His attentiveness in my direction comes through mercy every time. I deserve none of this, yet, He hears. Hear my need, my great, great need, as you have in the past, as you can because of your imputed righteousness, as you do in mercy. Here is my prayer.

This is a picture of a relationship, and most of the time, I’m still running from God and jumping through hoops. I’m afraid to misstep and holding my breath. I’m sneaking in requests I think He appreciates, instead of bringing my raw self. I’m cleaning myself up and then opening the door to invite Him in. But, approaching Him with a grasp on my identity and His, on our history and on true humility, prods me to crawl up in His lap and be the real me.

Amy Leskowski is a Freelance Writer from Kalamazoo, MI who I played on a curling team.