When I read this verse, the first thought that came to mind was of all the years I spent in bondage to the fear of man. I reminisced on the manipulations and mind games others had played with me, time and time again as they took no account for their words. I often felt as if I were left to pick up the broken pieces and say to myself once again, “It’s your fault . . . it always is . . . you’ll never be something better.” I pondered the moments I tore myself down and relentlessly strove for perfection, nearly destroying myself in a cycle of depression, anorexia, and bulimia. It was quite a dark, endless journey stumbling through the wilderness of shame, defeat, and self-hate before I opened my eyes and saw who I truly am, “Fearfully and wonderfully made,” and perfect through the blood of Christ alone.

I’ve battled fear and insecurity nearly my whole life, striving to please others and always setting the bar one step higher. To those around me, I often appear as confident, motivated, and fearless, but deep inside I’m still a scared child looking for acceptance and unconditional love. Even though God has offered me freedom from it all, still I find myself on occasion fighting my own will to revert back to the bottomless pit of perfectionism that ultimately leads to nothing other than self-destruction.  Deep down, I still subconsciously feel the need to prove myself, and that maybe if I just reach one more achievement I’ll truly be good enough.

Today, God used this verse to say once again, “Let it all go. You don’t need to prove yourself. Don’t try to fight against manipulated truths, false accusations, and dishonest justifications. I see it all, and I carried it for you and for them in the form of a cross. It’s not yours to bear. It’s not yours to change. I alone see the true depths of the human heart, and I hold it all in the palms of my nail scarred hands. Let go of the lies of man. Look to me alone, for I am truth.”

Katherine Nelson is in Law Enforcement and Adjunct Mathematics Instructor who lives in Delaware. She’s a published author and using her Christian YA trilogy, The New Waiver, to raise money and awareness for at-risk youth and military veterans.