I wanted to write a post about my year three. But I didn’t know what else to say. Someone in passing said something profound a few weeks ago. “You can spend your whole life analyzing what happened in your past. But then you’ll miss out on the life you’re having now.”
Here’s my only thoughts I want to share with you. I posted this on Instagram this morning…
Today marks three years of life. Three years of celebrating a failed suicide attempt. Three years filled with incredible growth after a diagnosis.
The weeks leading up to this day left me slightly on edge… There’s a lot of memories that lead up to this day. And although I relive some of them year-round, this time of the year brings them all to the surface again.
But they’re memories. They’re not my reality. I don’t have to go through that again. I’m more aware of my diagnosis and the symptoms that come with it. Knowledge is power. I’m stronger now.
Three years ago, I felt so alone. Sure, I had some friends. But I was missing the real connections I had with people in the past. I was guilt ridden for the actions and decisions I had made and all I wanted to do was have a clean start. I didn’t see that as an option, so I made the worst decision of my life. And by the grace of God, I didn’t die that night. I did however hit rock bottom.
Three years later, I have real relationships with my family – strong ones that won’t be broken. I’ve got the most incredible friend who is there for me whenever I need it. I’ve got the cutest nephew, who smiles every time he sees me and his joy is contagious.
I’m not the same girl I was three years ago. And that’s why I can celebrate. Here’s to another amazing, crazy year!
Nichole is a Social Media Marketing Manager, business owner, daughter and friend. She has a Marketing Diploma and a Certificate of Christian Theology. She is an avid coffee lover who enjoys a good movie or book. She takes great joy in organizing, scheduling, and volunteering. Her passion for volunteerism extends specifically to those who are hurting, whether it is emotionally, physically, or mentally.
Nichole is certified to provide Mental Health First Aid, which means she can provide immediate support and guidance in a safe environment, comfortably have a conversation about mental health related issues and offer professional and other supports. This does NOT make Nichole a psychologist, or a counselor. It simply gives her the tools to direct people to the help they need.