When I saw this topic was available, I knew that I had to be one of the ones to write on the subject. Being paralyzed from the waist down, pain has never come as any real surprise, and my disability as a whole doesn’t really bother me, because I’ve never known anything different.
Depression and anxiety has been something I’ve dealt with since I can remember, and for the longest times I thought that it was just something that I had, I wasn’t aware that depression and anxiety are emotional symptoms that I deal with, and my physical disability has a lot to do with it.
Anyone will tell you that knowing at least a part of your problem, the roots of them, is the only way to begin trying to fix them. Knowing in my head like I knew in my heart that I wasn’t making anything up was reassuring, it’s hard explaining what you can’t see.
Depression and anxiety connect with the pain levels that I’m constantly working through, because some pain can’t be fixed easily with medicines and procedures, there is just some pain you learn to live with, and while I’m doing that and will continue doing it, it’s exhausting sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time.
I see people with their jobs, their families, their contributions to society, and it’s dehumanizing to think that you’re not fulfilling your purpose when everyone else seems to have it figured out.
To all things, there is a silver lining: My family and friends. That’s how I cope, God knows who you need in your life. I know that because I have the most amazing family and friends in the world.
When I was born my momma dropped everything to dive head first into a scary world of hospitals, surgeries, and all of the uncertainties that come with that life. My younger sister, the middle child, had to grow up faster than she should have, and a lot of that has to do with the fact that she stepped up and helped me whenever I needed her. She’s one of the only people on this planet that has had my back no matter what, and not fulfilling what I think a big sister should be, not being there when she needed me, sometimes I feel really badly. Most of the time.
My point? Is a point of hope, that as long as you have supportive people in your corner, you’ll get through anything.
Are you in a crisis and need someone to talk to? Please call your local crisis line or contact a local mental health facility.
Melanie Hickox is 25, she lives in a small town in NC, and she is a newly-wed. Melanie is a mommy to a fur baby, and her life revolves around her two passions in life, writing, and the human thought process. Melanie loves connecting with everyone, come talk with her.