Nobody likes rejection, no matter what anyone says. Everyone has an underlying desire to be accepted by people, but the truth is, not everyone is going to like you. It’s inevitable, someone somewhere will dislike you, and they don’t even have to have a good reason. So how do you deal with rejection gracefully at school, at home, and at work? By remembering these things about yourself, and about other people.
There are three things to remember about being accepted by people that you got to school with.
1. They feel as insecure about themselves as you do, they’re probably just not as honest.
2. Chances are, there is something about you that makes them jealous, and people who are jealous act in other ugly ways.
3. Their actions say more about them than they do about you.
There was this girl in middle school that hated me, and I mean she really hated me. We were in the same Chorus class together, unfortunately, we had a lot of the same classes. Let’s call her B. B started a rumor in middle school that I was a lesbian because I cared about my friends, and being caring isn’t something she was good at. She made middle school miserable for me, and never even apologized, she now acts like nothing ever happened. That proves to me that she’s still not that great of a person, so not a huge loss.
Work is a little bit different because as you get older, most of the time you care less about what other people think of you, but rejection at work still happens. Let’s say someone is always getting promoted to you, someone makes more money than you do, it just feels like your boss has a favorite employee, and that employee is not you. Here are ways to handle situations of rejection at work:
1. Keep working hard.
If it’s a co-worker, you’re not there to make friends, you’re there to work. If it’s your boss, the harder you work, the more initiative you show, chances are the more your boss will respect you.
2. Don’t whine
“Oh, but my boss has it out for me!” Well, that may actually be true, but whining about it like a petulant child isn’t going to get you anywhere, except probably fired.
3. If you’re that miserable, find another job.
This isn’t always possible, what with the economy tanking and everything, but if you know you’re working hard and your accomplishments go unnoticed, it may be time to look for another job if you’re able to do so. Breaking into a new career or even the same career in a different place can be scary, but living a life where you settle for misery because you’re afraid to put yourself out there, that’s even scarier. Don’t be afraid, you can do it, know your worth.
And finally, 4 ways to deal with rejection at home. You may be asking “How does one suffer from rejection at home? They’re your parents, they can’t reject you. Yes, they can. My dad may have worked really hard when my sister and I were growing up, but as I got older, we became more and more distant, because I was (and still am) inseparable from my mom. We talked, but he never really seemed interested in anything that had to do with me as a person. These things may not solve the problem, but they do help:
1. Talk to your distant parent
We forget that parents are people too, and sometimes we don’t consider the fact that maybe they’re not intentionally doing the things that upset us. Take it from someone who didn’t follow her own advice, maybe if I’d told my dad how I felt then, instead of assuming that he knew and he was doing it on purpose, we might be speaking now.
2. Talk to the parent you’re closest to
This helped me a lot. When I was young I asked my mom why dad didn’t love me, and she said that he does, he just doesn’t know how to show it. She still tells me that, and hearing that comes from her brings me comfort because they do not get along. At all.
3. Consider counseling. We had family counseling when I was a kid, it didn’t really help the issue with my dad, but that was because he quit going. Most parents, I would think, have just as much of a desire to grow their relationships with their kids as the kids do, so I still think that counseling would be a good idea to try.
Write a letter
4. If you can’t “talk” to your parent about the issue, try writing a letter, writing what you can’t say actually helps a lot. More than likely that’s the reason that I became a writer because there are just some things you can’t say, if he fear of the response is too much to handle, I assure you writing a letter and handing it to them will be much easier for you.
You’re beautiful, you’re strong, and you’re not alone.
Melanie Hickox is 25, she lives in a small town in NC, and she is a newly-wed. Melanie is a mommy to a fur baby, and her life revolves around her two passions in life, writing, and the human thought process. Melanie loves connecting with everyone, come talk with her.