Advice On Controlling Your Emotions

Emotion is the thing that connects us as humans. There are generally two types of people, overly emotional people and people that claim that they feel very little emotion. Whether you’re the former or the latter, everyone has issues controlling their emotions at one point.

Personally, I identify with the overly emotional people, which in the past was something that I tried my best to hide. “Nothing can get to me,” I said to people every day, and then at night I would cry myself to sleep because bottling up my emotions became exhausting and depressing.

Not to say that I’ve got my whole life figured out now because people would probably stand in line to tell you otherwise, and I’d at the head of it. However, I’m at least more in tune with my emotions at 25 than I was at say 20. My early twenties were hard, it hadn’t been long since I graduated that I chose to go to college for the first time, after doing all of the work I didn’t get the certification that I went for, and that depressed me. A couple of years late I decided to go back to college for the second time, this time for Psychology.

Before even getting to the psychology part, I got sick and had to drop out because my grades dropped. That depressed me. My health declined and is still declining, I couldn’t and can’t do the things for my household and my family that I should do. Simple things, like cleaning, or even simpler like spending time with my family without feeling wiped out. My sister wants me to do something with her, but I can’t because I can’t function with so much pain. My pain makes me angry because it not only robs me but it robs people of me.

Sometimes my anger is aimed at others, and that’s not fair. Which makes me angrier. How can you convince yourself that you’re a good person, that you’re doing the best that you can when you make your sister feel like you hate her? That your baby sister has anxiety and depression like you, and that you are largely to blame for it because you weren’t there for her. How do you do that?

Maybe I don’t have it all figured out, but here are a few things that work for me, and I hope that maybe they work for you.

1. Don’t try to avoid your emotions

Possibly one of the most unhealthy ways of controlling your emotions is to pretend that you don’t have any. Everyone has emotions, and I don’t know how the stigma around being ashamed of your emotions got started, but it needs to go. A strong person faces their emotions, not avoids them.

2. Don’t feel weak for showing emotions

Take a day, take two days, if it’ll help you, take a week. Let your emotions surface. Feel vulnerable. Humble yourself. You’re only human, it’s okay to act like it.

3. Talk to someone

Somewhere along the line, it became normal to assume that you have to deal with your emotions on your own. Well, I’ve got breaking news, I can’t handle my emotions on my own. Life isn’t an isolating experience and your emotions shouldn’t be either.

I need my husband at the end of the day, being in his arms are my comfort zone and there is no way I could go through what I do if I didn’t have him.

My mom is the calm in the storm that is my life. Being so overly emotional, I couldn’t face my life if I didn’t know that my mom was always there. I can’t face one day without her. My mother is my whole life, and I need her.

My sisters are my best friends and even though they got the short end of the stick when it comes to big sisters, they never complain about me and no matter how crazy I am, Megan is always there to listen to me, she’s much stronger than I am, and without her to hold me down I’d probably be even more neurotic than I already am (which is a horrifying thought) she is an essential part of my life, and although we’ve had our differences, I’d give my soul for her. Caitlyn, my little baby, who is 14 and the funniest person I know. She has the best smile, and dimples that make my heart smile. I want nothing more than to be someone she can look up to her, but even when I can’t do that, she’s right there to make me laugh even when I don’t want to smile. She’s independent and doesn’t care what others think. To be honest, I look admire her.  The point I’m trying to make is don’t isolate yourself. Family and friends are everything.

4. Find something that inspires you

Maybe that sounds obvious, but for instance, my Bible is my go-to when I’m having an overwhelmingly emotional day. The Bible gives clear guidance on where emotions come from, and how to deal with them. Even if the Bible isn’t your thing, you can find something. A book, a quote, even a place, which brings me to my final tip.

5. Find a quiet place

When your emotions are running high, nothing makes it worse than a lot of noise and chaos. Find a place that relaxes you, maybe get scents that comfort you with some soft music and just breathe. Ground yourself, and just breathe. You’re not alone, you are valued, and you’re are so very loved.



Melanie Hickox is 25, she lives in a small town in NC, and she is a newly-wed. Melanie is a mommy to a fur baby, and her life revolves around her two passions in life, writing, and the human thought process. Melanie loves connecting with everyone, come talk with her.

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