There are a few things that I want my family and friends to know about my mental illness. Mine is panic attacks and anxiety. Gosh, there’s so much that I’d like to tell them and you know what? Because of these two things a lot of times I can’t get the words out or how to express it just right.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it or anything. What the problem is getting the words just right. I’m a perfectionist at times and get frustrated when I can’t think of the right word or phrase. So be patient with me. That’s a big one. Sometimes, I might come off angry because I’m upset with myself. It has nothing to do with my family or friends.
Having this isn’t easy. You care so much that you don’t want to mess up in the wrong way, so you’ll over think. That’s a biggie for me. I over think things and the worse case scenarios. I’m really good at that but I’ll never let you know on the outside.
I’m good at hiding when I’m having an attack unless I’m comfortable with you. Truthfully, the only people I’m that comfortable with doing that is my husband and kids. I know at times they don’t know themselves that I’m having one unless I voice it.
Another thing is I’ll stare off into space. Okay, well it will look like that. I get lost in my own head. People can be talking to me and I won’t hear them unless they get right in my face to get my attention.
I’m not being rude or anything. I promise. Or if I’m talking to you, but I don’t look at you. It’s something I have trouble with because of my anxiety. I’ll also go over and over in my head what I said if I say something I think is dumb or something.
These are just a few of the things I’d like family and friends to know about my mental illness.