Have you ever wanted to be taller? Or maybe felt less than because your grades weren’t the best in the class? Ever felt yourself changing in ways that weren’t really like you to fit into a crowd? Comparing ourselves to others and stunting our sense of self-worth to be more like the people around us harms our views of who we are. The more we compare and strive to be what we are not, the more we lose what we are and who we want to become.
How do we shift comparing ourselves to others to accepting and growing in self-love?
Learning to Love Who We Are
In order to combat the issue of comparing ourselves to others and in turn learn how best to love and appreciate ourselves takes discipline, growth, and self-awareness. Self-work is not easy but it is necessary when beginning to prioritize change and self-acceptance.
Important note: We are multifaceted and have a plethora of characteristics that make us who we are. Not all parts of us are positive and fully developed. There are parts of us that we have to work on and that’s okay! Working on our “shadow selves” helps us to understand all of who we are, especially those parts that need healing. The key is to learn to love and accept even our “not so good” traits.
Positive and workable “I” statements help to shift our focus from the people around us to ourselves. Saying “I” forces us to look within and figure out what we are, who we are, and what we need. “I” is a powerful and declarative sentence starter and stamps in our mind who we consider ourselves to be. Manifestations, declarations, and affirmations of “I” empowers our sense of belonging in the world and helps us shape our sense of purpose and power.
Practice “I” statements:
⦁ I am brave.
⦁ I am strong.
⦁ I am smart.
⦁ I can make mistakes and that’s okay.
⦁ I can ask for help.
⦁ I need some help.
⦁ I am doing my best.
⦁ I welcome peace and joy into my life.
⦁ I am okay.
A gratitude list is a list of things, places, people, situations, or traits about ourselves that we are grateful for. Creating a gratitude list helps us to reflect and think through what’s good about our experiences and life overall. Building a habit of gratitude increases our awareness, knowledge, and point of contact when we find ourselves comparing our lives with others.
Finish these sentences to help you create your gratitude list:
⦁ I am grateful for ____.
⦁ I’m so glad I was able to experience ____.
⦁ I feel good about ____ because ___.
⦁ I am grateful to ___ because they helped me ___.
⦁ Going to ___ allowed me to feel ___.
Loving and accepting all we are is a beautiful process. Once we stop the toxic cycles of comparing ourselves to others, the more welcoming we are to building a fortress of self-love and self-care that is best for us.
We are powerful, worthy, and beautiful just the way we are.
Nina is a Latina from Brooklyn, NY who struggles with depression and anxiety. She finds refuge and healing through her writing since she graduated from college in 2016. Nina writes to spread awareness and hope to those who struggle with their mental health silently. She also strives to motivate and encourage self-acceptance. She enjoys creating creative and uplifting content on her blog SparklyWarTanks.com where she shares her experiences, notes, poems, quotes, and articles