Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, and magical person that you are. ~ Unknown
One thing I’ve learned as I reached my 40s is not everyone is going to like me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. And I don’t need to be. I gave up the need to be liked by everyone and the luxury of caring why someone didn’t like me.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a peacemaker and a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to be happy and I felt like it was my job to make it so. That is an incredible burden to bear at any age, but especially for a child. I have no idea why I felt that responsibility. No one ever put it upon me.
I didn’t outgrow that mindset either and in some ways, I still have those tendencies. But I’ve learned that it’s an impossible task to please everyone – a fool’s errand. I can’t make peace in everyone’s lives nor am I called to. No matter how much I want to, I just can’t. And…I definitely cannot fix a person.
My epiphany in this regard came not too many years ago when our family went through something monumentally difficult. You learn quickly when something “big” happens and the town is all abuzz, who your true friends are…and who your true friends aren’t. The “aren’ts” are those who pretty much just want to know the inside information so they can feel like they’re in “the know.”
Here’s my secret: I got to a place where as long as I’m good with God and good with family, I don’t need more than that. What’s better than that? Another secret: Your circle of trust grows smaller as you get older. As you go through things, you come to learn who’s really going to stay by your side, keep your confidences, and not give up on you when you’re struggling. And those are the people you’ll want to be by their side through the thick and thin. Age just has a way of revealing a lot of cool, freeing, and empowering things.
The moral and the message: Be a good person. Be happy with who you are. Be kind, have compassion, care about others and show it. Work hard, share, laugh, hug, come to a place where you’re comfortable in your own skin.
That’s when you’ll say “You know what? I’m good with who I am. I don’t need everybody to be good with that too.” But even the people who aren’t good with it, you’ll still be kind to them because that’s who you’ve become and you’re great with it.