It’s only been a couple of years since it started happening, someone would ask me something, usually something simple, and my stomach would drop, my tongue would become tied and I would stutter with my response. That’s how I knew that my panic attacks were getting worse, because even though I’d had panic attacks for a long time, I’d never struggled with my words before.
It’s astonishing to think how small something has to be in order to set it off, and trying to explain why it happens is next to impossible. For me it only happens when I’m very anxious about something, usually I’m in some sort of pain when it happens. Certain things trigger it, I think that’s why it happens. Some days are more severe than others, which is almost harder than it being consistent. One day I’m functioning completely normal, and the next I’m struggling to construct proper sentences.
The problem, is how do you stop something that you don’t fully understand? Well, I wish that I could say that I had it all figured out, but I’m still figuring things out myself. The best thing that I can say is keep trying, even though it’s hard. Be patient with yourself, and with others, as they’re likely learning just like you.
Please always try to remember that even as isolating as panic attacks can be, and as embarrassing as stuttering can be, someone understands. Someone wants to be there for you, you should never have to go through anything alone. Reach out to someone, please don’t go through this alone. Take whatever step you feel like you can take to give yourself a victory over this, no matter how small the step, no matter how small the victory, take it. You deserve it. Nobody knows how hard your struggle is, and no one has the right to judge you. This is your journey.
Melanie is just an ordinary girl, living an extraordinary life. She has Spina Bifida, which caused her to be born paralyzed from the waist down, she has had twenty-three surgeries, but she has never let that stop her from achieving her dreams. Melanie was a psychology major, before being forced to drop out due to medical issues, as devastating as that was, she picked herself back up and decided to pursue her dream of being an author, she is currently working on her first small book called “Befuddled Societies guide to Spina Bifida,” which will be out in a few weeks, hopefully. Melanie also suffers from anxiety and depression, and that’s the reason she wants to help others going through the same thing – because she knows how it feels to feel all alone.
You can follow Melanie S at her Facebook page.
Defying Shadows 